Getting your loved one sober ~ supporting those in recovery. Truly a tragedy how many family member and friends get caught up in the relentless pain and misery of their loved ones addictions. Your own safety and finding a happier life takes priority. Getting a loved one to moderate, choose sobriety, or go into treatment are then offered as roads to a better relationship.
Self care, boundaries, and communication are the core concepts in helping your loved ones.
Self care.. analogy is “oxygen mask”… make sure you help yourself and do the basics before you help others. That means eat, sleep, exercise, and getting help as needed. It also means taking proactive steps to ensure your own safety.. exit plans and phone numbers if you feel threatened.
Boundaries... think of a “hula hoop”…. you can control whats in – your thoughts and actions. Can’t control whats out.. others actions, weather etc. Huge part of boundaries is setting up rules, communicating them and enforcing as needed.
Communications: Talking and listening to your loved one is a critical part of the support process. How we say things, body language, tone, even the actual words can really have an impact.
I have listed four main programs for supporting Loved Ones with substance and behavioral issues – Alanon, Johnson Intervention, SMART and CRAFT. There are other models such as Crisis interventions, Tough love approach, Love First approach , RISE interventions, and Family interventions
Friends and families of problem drinkers find understanding and support at Al-Anon and Alateen meetings.
In Al-Anon/Alateen, members do not give direction or advice to other members. Instead, they share their personal experiences and stories, and invite other members to “take what they like and leave the rest”—that is, to determine for themselves what lesson they could apply to their own lives.
The best place to learn how Al-Anon/Alateen works is at a meeting in your local community. Personal contact is an important element in the healing process. These Web page selections may give you some encouragement to visit your first meeting.
The Johnson Model may very likely be the most common mainstream form of intervention. A direct and confrontational form of intervention, this model focuses on heavy involvement by caregivers to nudge the addict into treatment. The role of the caregiver is variable. For one addict, it may be a parent; for another, it could be a grandmother or a spouse.
The most likely candidate for a Johnson Model intervention is the individual who doesn’t think they have a problem. SAMHSA reported in 2011 that only 1.2 percent of the 7.4 million alcoholics aged 21 to 64 suffering from untreated alcoholism thought treatment could help them. Thus, the vast majority do not think they need professional treatment services.
SMART Recovery®Family & Friends is a science-based, secular alternative to Al-Anon and Johnson Intervention. Our method is based on the tools of SMART Recovery and CRAFT* (Community Reinforcement Approach & Family Training). Our purpose is to provide resources and support for those who are affected by the addictions of a loved one.
SMART Recovery Online Volunteer Facilitators provide Concerned Significant Others (CSO) meetings to address specific issues encountered when a friend or family member tries to reach out and help a loved one affected by addiction.
The meetings share SMART Recovery tools that can be implemented by CSOs to help with emotional upsets, effective communication methods when dealing with loved ones, and more. Techniques employed within SMART and the CRAFT Program are shared for the benefit of meeting attendees. These meetings are great to meet others, share experiences, and are more of a workshop to help deal with your current issues.
CRAFT (Community Reinforcement Approach and Family Training)
CRAFT is a skills-based program that impacts families in multiple areas of their lives, including self-care, pleasurable activities, problem solving, and goal setting. At the same time, CRAFT addresses their loved one’s resistance to change. CRAFT teaches families behavioral and motivational strategies for interacting with their loved one.
Participants learn, for example, the power of positive reinforcement for positive behavior (and of withdrawing it for unwanted behavior), and how to use positive communication skills to improve interactions and maximize their influence.
CRAFT (Community Reinforcement Approach & Family Training) developed by Dr. Robert Meyers and featured on the popular HBO Addiction series.