By not letting them influence your actions and choices. The fundamental flaw within this question is that we can control our emotions. We cannot, not anymore than we control our environments. We control *only* ourselves.
As far as feelings go, they are visitors. Let then come and go. They are natural reactions to what happens to you. Millions of years of survival designed to keep you alive. Don’t deny, repress, dismiss, or discourage them. If you’re mad, be MAD.
Just don’t act on them. This includes what you say to people. This is how you are not controlled by your emotions.
Never lie to yourself. Everything else will follow.
EMOTIONAL SOBRIETY: ONE of the cornerstones of alcoholism recovery is a concept called emotional sobriety. The idea is that alcoholics and other addicts hoping to stay sober over the long haul must learn to regulate the negative feelings that can lead to discomfort, craving and—ultimately—relapse. Doing so is a lifelong project and requires cultivating a whole new way of thinking about life’s travails.
But the recovery literature also says “first things first”—which simply means “don’t drink.” Especially in the early days of recovery, alcoholics are counseled not to analyze why they are addicted or how they might have avoided alcoholism: “Don’t think and don’t drink” is the maxim. Take it one day at a time and do whatever works—prayer, exercise, meetings—to distract the mind from the compulsion to pick up a glass
Pink Cloud In Early Sobriety: The Pink Cloud often affects new people in recovery who are experiencing excessively
optimistic outlook on their life and recovery itself. It almost seems like they are untouchable by anything negative and they seem to be wearing a pair of “rose colored” glasses. Yet we all know that early recovery is quite difficult and it often throws many challenges our way as well as a rollercoaster of emotions that at times may be hard to manage.
The Dance Of Perfectionism And Addiction: Why ‘Good Enough’ Is The Gold Standard in Recovery..By David Sack, M.D.
What does an addict who has lost everything in their pursuit of drugs and alcohol have in common with the person who has it all – a great job, a loving family and an immaculate home? Although they may appear to come from opposite worlds, perfectionism can be at the root of both great successes and great struggles.
PAWS: Post Acute Withdrawal Syndrome, or Protracted Alcohol Withdrawal Syndrome: as a “syndrome” this describes several different effects that one can deal with AFTER initial detox, usually within first few weeks of sobriety. I personally had major sleep issues, mood swings, difficulty thinking clearly, irritable (ie FURIEous) over minor things, and panic attacks out of nowhere. As I read more on PAWS, I do believe many people suffer from this, and also adds to risk of relapse.
I think that many oldsters who have put our AA “booze cure” to severe but successful tests still find they often lack emotional sobriety. Perhaps they will be the spearhead for the next major development in AA – the development of much more real maturity and balance (which is to say, humility) in our relations with ourselves, with our fellows, and with God.
Those adolescent urges that so many of us have for top approval, perfect security, and perfect romance — urges quite appropriate to age seventeen – prove to be an impossible way of life when we are at age forty-seven or fifty-seven.
Since AA began, I’ve taken immense wallops in all these areas because of my failure to grow up, emotionally and spiritually. My God, how painful it is to keep demanding the impossible, and how very painful to discover finally, that all along we have had the cart before the horse! Then comes the final agony of seeing how awfully wrong we have been, but still finding ourselves unable to get off the emotional merry-go-round.