Hey.. where’s my unicorn? I’m sober.. didn’t they get the memo? Puppies, unicorns, pot o gold at the end of my sober rainbow?
Look where is my prize for the most awesome feat of sobriety in modern history? This is ME, sober me! New improved version 2.0.
I just posted on the thread I will not drink today ~ because I am starting to discover the me I was always meant to be and I want to get to know that person.
Seems pretty straight forward… hello me.. I would like to introduce you to the new improved continously sober me… sober me version 2.x. This is one of the me’s I actually want to get know better.
Why this version of me? Is it somehow hansomer, smarter, whittier, richer? Most definitely not. This time it feels like it is a truer reflection of the me I was meant to be. Sounds corny, but we’ve been working and I can feel things changing.
If someone had told me years ago that I needed to address the “why” I was driven to excessive drinking etc.. I wouldn’t have listened nor bothered to engage in any conversation. I drank, it felt good and bad things happened…..next.
Is the worst day sober better than the best day drinking? NOPE! I had some really great days using and also some really nightmarish ones as well. I get upset when I hear people say they never have urges… those urge critters are with me every day.. and I use the tools SMART has taught me to keep them in check… Yes, urges have gotten less physical and cant hurt me. Yes urges can not make me use, and Yes urges do pass… just not fast enough for me at times.
My values have changed dramatically since my first pass with them ~ sobriety is right there at the top, along with family, health, and quality relationships.. what has slipped noticeably lower is work and finances. Hey wait, what is missing? My romance with booze…. imagine that! I am quick to do the costs and benefits for just about any life choice, and self worth . I really am in tune with how I choose to respond to external factors, dealing with life events and other people.
Throw in self care and setting boundaries, and I almost sound like a rational person! My favorite quote is a polish proverb.. “not my circus, not my monkeys” and I am seriously thinking of getting it tattoed under my watch…. to remind me I do not have to fix every thing and the people around me.
Thanks for letting me rant… not sure if any one really reads these, but I look forward to the future me reading this and getting his thoughts….