Hi all, I am both in recovery and dealing with Loved One  (LO) I  care very much about supporting, so I attend both SMART recovery and SMART Recovery Family & Friends (F&F) meetings.
Overview of Family and Friends supporting Loved Ones (LO) in recovery:
 “Recognition is often the first step in change” – “Discover the power of choice”
SMART Recovery Family & Friends helps those who are affected by the substance abuse, drug abuse, alcohol abuse, or other addictions of a loved one.
The Family and Friends Program looks at areas including Positive Communication, Disabling the Enabling, Trust and Self Care.
SMART F&F will help participants to
– view their own behaviours
– challenge their thinking and find more effective ways to interact with their loved one
– learning ways to empower themselves.
“I came to SMART to get help dealing with my partner’s addiction. What I got are tools that help me deal more effectively with every aspect of MY life.”
For concerned significant others, SMART Recovery recommends Community Reinforcement Approach & Family Training (CRAFT).
CRAFT aims to teach family and friends self-protection and non-confrontational skills to help their addicted loved one find recovery.
May I suggest attending friends and family meetings as well, maybe even get the handbook?
Only reason I do is that I have attended a few, mainly to understand how I impacted my family, but now to support friends with substance and behavior issues….
Enabling is a term often used in the context of a relationship with an addict.
It might be a drug addict or alcoholic, a gambler, or a compulsive overeater.
Enablers, rather than addicts, suffer the effects of the addict’s behavior.
Get Your Loved One Sober (GYLOS): http://goo.gl/pGtdTSMART
Recovery Handbook for Family & Friends http://goo.gl/T5wdl
SMART Handbook for F&F KINDLE VERSION: http://goo.gl/6sXKGe
 Self Care: need to take care of yourself first… “oxygen mask”
  • Sleep
  • Eat -well and healthy
     Exercise – walking, etc
  • Health: take medications, keep Doctor appointments
  • Avoid: alchohol, drugs, bad food
  • Safety: keep yourself SAFE!
Boundaries: set boundaries – LO has to accept the Natural Consequences” of their actions ie using
hula hoop:  whats in – your emotions and actions… whats out  – everything else
boundaries are like movable fences~ so you choose how you communicate and enforce, and can change them as needed…. fluid like and can be applied to all kind of life events
Ok, you might say, but what has that got to do with a hula hoop? Well, I might answer, the hula hoop is your very own sorting tool  between what you can and cannot control. In other words, if it is in your hula hoop, you can probably control it. If it is out of your hula hoop, you cannot control it and all efforts to do so are wasted.

What is IN your hula hoop?

•Your body
•Your thoughts
•Your actions
•Your opinions
•Your values
•Your dreams
•Your wishes

What is OUT of your hula hoop?

•other people
•other people’s thoughts
•other people’s actions
•the weather
Often we put off making difficult choices out of fear-fear of what might happen as a result of our choice.
This fear can keep us stuck, unwilling to make a change because we cannot guarantee the outcome of our choices.
We become immobilized, effectively afraid of an outcome which has not yet happened and which may not ever happen.
All the worrying in the world has never changed one moment of the future and all he guilt in the world has never changed one moment of the past……